I hate to call myself loquacious nevertheless I must admit I have a voluminous amount of conversation with my friends …chit-chats that go on till 4am. During one of those casual chatters, one interesting question popped out , “ What is the passion that is driving you in your life?” . Well that time as I remember, “I don’t know” was what half of us said.
But the question lingered on in my mind. Really I don’t know. I ain’t Barney or Uncle Charlie to have a passion for “chicks” (No offence meant if the term under quotes is derogatory ….. even I find it sometimes) .Ok don’t get me wrong. I am a normal guy. I do have an interest in gals and I have had a lot of crushes (right from class 6 if I remember correctly!!!!) . I am doing quite well here,much better than Howard Holowitz of Big Bang Theory(His mom’s insistence on a Jewish wife somehow reflects my mom’s desire for an Assamese one) . Sometimes you are just pissed off with something and then a nice talk with someone close(especially one from the opposite gender) can really cheer you up. Yeah my heart craves for someone sweet and cute but its simply not the burning desire or my ardent fervor. Its simply not the passion I live for.
Now comes the question of academics. Well a decent performance in acads does not necessarily mean that I share a great romance with it. I am just a confused soul. Sometimes when I see someone doing really great in academics or research , I feel,” Oh yeah ..This is my field for the future” and the next morning flipping the pages of the Times of India looking at the company tycoons ,B/H/K/T ollywood actors I would be dreaming of a glamorous life. Its so perplexing. In any case , Acads is the flight for me for a better living irrespective of whether I make my living in research or a company job. Undoubtedly I am just trotting in an unknown,undecided world . And its not just me alone. Even some of my friends feel we are just sailing in the direction of winds. And something unknown ,wavering thing can be my passion in life? No certainly not. So research,acads , innovations are not certainly the passion that I am living for.Acads happens to be my duty right now and I am just doing it.
So what else?? A happy married life with nice kids. Hey wait,wait,….. I am just 21. Not a big fella yet to crack my head on all these. We all hope for a nice conjugal life but these things belong to the time not worth worrying about right now.
Of course, there is one reason that drives me to excel in what I do. I want to see my parents happy. Its just a small way of repaying back for all the sacrifices they have put in while bringing up me and my lovely sister. That’s one of the reasons for all the effort that I put in acads but I cant really say it to be my passion.
